EPISODE 49: I’m Back! Life Update and Life Lessons
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THE LOWDOWN
In this episode I go a little off topic as I share a few life updates and some life lessons I've learned over the past few months since the last episode dropped.
I ask you to explore the meaningful relationships in your life and think about how tomorrow isn't planned. If you were to know that your last days were among you, what would you do differently? Would you stop waiting for a situation to be perfect and choose to go forward with it regardless?
Although this episode took a slightly sad turn, it leaves you with the reminder that life is not promised and we can choose today what the rest of it will look like.
MENTIONED IN SHOW:
Website: www.lovealwaysjess.com/getstarted
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/love.always.jess
SHOW NOTES:
Episode begins at [00:00:57]
TRANSCRIPT:
[0:00:00]
[upbeat and joyful music fades in]
[0:00:06]
Introduction: Sex and Money with Jess is a podcast dedicated to helping you deepen your relationship with yourself and others when it comes to sex and money. I’m your host, Jess, and my mission is to give you the tools to step outside of your comfort zone and into your empowered self. Here, I encourage you to let go of shame and societal pressures and reimagine your future the way you want it. If you’re ready to gain more confidence, feel sexier, and become more secure in your finances, I invite you to put on your favorite outfit, pull out your bank statements, and let’s get started!
[music fades out]
[0:00:57]
Hey! I hope everything in life is treating you well. It has been a few months since I have been on the microphone, since I have published a podcast episode, and I’m excited to be back here to be in your ear, to have you listening in on all things sex and money. There have been quite a few wonderful things that have happened over the past few months for me. I have had a summer filled with joy, laughter, grief, and all of the lingering emotions we all experience, whether daily, or sometimes you know, a few years, every few years in our life.
[0:01:54]
One of the things that this year has taught me is life is short. To get out there. To live it. To enjoy it. To treat each human being in my life as if they are precious. As if they are meaningful and to show them that, and not to wait until it’s too late. Whew! I did not think I’d get choked up over this. You know the past month, September, was really hard for my family. We lost and uncle and we also had to put down one of our dogs, and so it was heavy. It was ladened with grief, and as sad as that is, I’m also thankful for the times and the memories I got with our uncle and our dog.
[0:03:04]
I guess going on a side tangent with my uncle, he was somebody who was like a second father to me growing up. He was my mom’s sister’s husband and her sister and her sister’s husband, my uncle, they owned a cabin up North in Minesota and I would go there multiple times throughout the summer growing up. And if my parents ever had to do anything and they needed somebody to watch us often times it was with this aunt and uncle. And so I grew up spending a lot of time around him and around them. Whew, I didn’t think I’d get sad. I won’t spend too much time on this but being able to love someone the way that I loved my uncle, and being able to be loved by him is a blessing. Life is full of unknowns and back in April when I went back to Minnesota for a funeral of a family friend, I learned of my uncle’s diagnosis with ALS. And we knew that his life here on earth would be tough, it would be a difficult journey. His body would give up on him. And I got to see him that visit and then I went back in June for a family reunion and I got to spend time with him. I was hoping to go back again to see him this month actually, October, but I didn’t make it before he passed away. We were hoping for a little bit longer with him, but that didn’t happen.
[0:05:31]
I think the biggest thing, right now, that I want to say around this is, no matter the struggles you have going on in life, find time to spend it with people who are important to you. Making a trip to Minnesota for me isn’t always financially, or like, time wise the most beneficial, but that is where my mom’s side of the family lives. And it’s good to always see them, even if it’s not every day or constantly, or sometimes I’d like it to be. But what I can do is I can pick up a phone and talk to people on the phone. I can send them a card to let them know that I am thinking of them. There are these things that we can do that don’t necessarily cost any money or cost a lot of money. Sure we have to pay for a cell phone bill, or we might have to pay for a stamp, but when you look at the cost of pay for that thing or that item, and weight it against the cost of missing out on good times with those people, it really is just a drop in the bucket. I am not always the greatest at picking up my phone and saying hello. I might be frustrated with somebody. I might be irritated. I might be annoyed. I might be hurt. I might just have too many other things happening in my life to actively make the time to write that letter, or call, or send a text message. But one of the biggest things that is important to me is connection. And I might have allowed that meaningful part of life to fall to the wayside after my mom passed away because I was going through my own grief journey, but it is definitely something that I want to do better in my life. I want to reach out to my friends more. I want to reach out to my family more. I want to make the trips to go and see people. I want to put in the effort. When I say trips, I don’t just mean getting on a plane and flying to another state or another country to see somebody. It could be driving the forty-five minutes to go and see them. It could be making the plan to meet up for lunch. I can be exhausting [chuckles]. Sorry, I said that wrong. I can be exhausted, I probably can be exhausting somedays, but I can be exhausted and still make effort.
[0:09:05]
And to completely take it away from the sad aspects, that same effort and energy that we can take and put into other people, we can also take and put into ourselves. Whether or not that’s improving our health, improving our finances, improving our sex lives. There really is no time like the presence to do those things. Presence? Present. I can say the right words.
[music fades in]
[0:09:47]
Commercial: Hey! If you’re enjoying the show and are looking to go deeper in away that is more personalized to you, visit lovealwaysjess.com/getstarted to discover more ways to work with me. I understand that there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to sex and money, so let’s get to discovering your own goals and building the path to lead you there. That’s lovealwaysjess.com/getstarted. Okay, back to the show.
[music fades out]
[0:10:29]
There really is no time like the present to make changes. To choose to live differently. As I mentioned at the beginning, I learned this year that life is short. I kind of feel like that is the lesson that life has been trying to teach me for the past few years. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, and you might be thinking ‘oh Jessica, that’s such a sad or negative way to be looking at life,’ and it’s not that I want that negative outlook on life, but it really isn’t promised. We’re promised this moment, where my two feet are, and anything can change in the next second. The next minute. The next hour. It could change five years from now. And I’ve kinda been wrestling with this for the past, I’d say month.
[0:11:39]
I, I’ve been frustrated with the producer who helped me initially with this podcast. I don’t need to get into the details, but nonetheless I’ve been frustrated. Things are owed to me that have not been provided to me, and I’ve been patiently waiting, and giving grace where grace is deserved, but also I have paid for a service and I’m not getting my return on my investment. And it’s something that, for the past few weeks, probably a month now that I’ve been in my head contemplating how to go about this because I deserve what I paid for, and I shouldn’t have to chase somebody to get what is owed to me. And it’s kind of one of those things where like it’s a really good way to look at life. Yes, we’re going to be met with hurdles, and yes we’re going to be met with things that don’t go the way we want them to go, but sometimes those things leave us with a lesson to be learned. And as I mentioned, my uncle passed away in September, we had to put our dog down, I’ve been dealing with trying to figure out things with this podcast producer, and it’s really opened my eyes up to life is so much bigger, and broader, and better than these moments. And we don’t want to just sit idly by waiting. We don’t want to just wait for the train to come for us to walk onto and then whisks us away across the country to go see our family and friends.
[0:13:52]
We don’t want to wait for things to be fixed with the podcast producer for me to continue on with my podcast. You know, I’m one of those people, I need things kind of like tied in a bow, and perfect, and wrapped nicely, even though I’m a terrible wrapper for presents. But metaphorically I like things wrapped nice and crisp and perfect and with a pretty bow on it to hand off. And I wanted to finish that contract. I wanted all of my episodes prior to this episode to be one hundred percent complete before I continue forward. And it’s not happening that way unfortunately. And last night I had this epiphany of put out what you can and then move forward while you’re waiting to resolve this thing.
[0:15:02]
So here I am today showing up imperfectly. Showing up recognizing that life is short and I could sit by, and I could wait for things to be perfect. I could wait for things to be resolved and for all of the answers to be handed over to me to move forward and continue producing this podcast myself. I have no idea what I am doing. I hired a producer to help me because I don’t know what I am doing, because I’m not a tech person, because I don’t have the time, or whatever other excuses I could come up with. But realistically at the end of the day I want to be here. I want to be here in your ear. I want to be here producing content that helps each and every single one of you with your own life. And this episode turned into something completely different than I anticipated it to turn into, but sometimes that is what is needed.
[0:16:15]
So with the experiences I’ve had over the past month, the message I want to leave you with is we are not promised tomorrow. Life is never a guarantee. I think we can all agree with that, or acknowledge it because we’ve more than likely all experienced that. So I want to you to ask yourself. Let’s go with I want you to ask yourself two things. One, what is something you’ve been putting off because the situation and the circumstances might not be one hundred percent what you want them to be in order to step into that role, or step into the shoes of the person who does that thing? And the second is, who in your life have you not talked to or seen lately, and could you, today, take the moment to give them a call, write them a letter, send them a text message? Just to reach out and say, ‘hey, I am thinking of you. I love you. You are important to me. You matter.’
[0:17:41]
At the end of the day, I think we all want to know that we are loved and that we matter. And that when our time comes we are valued and cherished enough for people to show up in our memory. But if we think about it, and this is kind of how I’m choosing to live my life, what happens if we show up now and value those people in the present moment? How much better is life going to be? How much more beautiful is the world going to be? How much more joy will there be circulating the atmosphere that surrounds us all?
[0:18:33]
Thank you for listening to a rather subdued, sad first episode back, but I hope you go out and you step into the life that you want to create, because really there is no other time that is better than this moment now. Than here, in the present. I love you all. I am thankful for you. If you don’t hear that any other moment today, know that I am thankful for your presence here on earth. I love you. Have a wonderful, wonderful day.
[music fades in]
[0:19:08]
Outro: Thank you for listening. I hope this episode left you feeling more confident in the future you are creating. I would love to hear your thoughts on the podcast, so please leave a review and remember sharing is caring. If you know somebody who could benefit from this podcast on their own personal journey, please share it with them. What I know we need more of in this world are people who are thriving in their financial and sexual lives. And if you’re ready to dive in deeper, please go to lovealwaysjess.com/getstarted to find out more ways that you can work with me. May your day and week ahead be filled with love. See you next week!
[music fades out]
[0:20:12]
