EPISODE 7: Negotiating Your Worth

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THE LOWDOWN

In today's episode we tackled the empowering topic of asking for more money and recognizing your worth. We delved into the current climate where workers are advocating for fair compensation and the importance of understanding your value in the workplace.

I shared my personal journey of going from a $50,000 salary at a gaming company to being put on probation and facing a pay cut, to eventually landing a job that paid $60,000 and then successfully negotiating a 40% raise to $90,000 with a 10% bonus. This story highlighted the courage it takes to ask for what you deserve and the importance of being prepared with a list of your accomplishments and a clear idea of your worth.

We discussed the gender differences in job applications and promotions, noting that women often wait until they feel 100% qualified before asking for a raise, while men might do so when they feel 60% ready. I encouraged listeners to trust in their ability to learn and grow into new roles.

The episode emphasized the power of negotiation and the reality that companies aim to save money. I advised listeners to go into salary discussions with a higher figure in mind, as it opens up room for negotiation. It's important to remember that the worst outcome is simply a "no," and there are always options available, whether it's accepting the offer, finding a new job, or negotiating further.

I also offered insights from my experience in payroll and budgeting, explaining how companies approach salary decisions and the importance of advocating for yourself since companies prioritize their bottom line.

Remember, you are worth it, and it's up to you to chase what you deserve. Show up with confidence, negotiate your value, and don't be afraid to ask for more.

Share this episode with someone who could benefit from it, and don't forget to leave a review. Here's to thriving in all aspects of life!

MENTIONED IN SHOW:

Website: www.lovealwaysjess.com/getstarted

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/confident_sexuality

SHOW NOTES:

Episode begins at [00:00:54]

TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] Hey, welcome to today's episode. I am very excited to be [00:01:00] talking about our topic today. This is one of the single most fun conversations that I love having with people. And fact, I had someone called me yesterday to talk about this particular thing. And what it is that we're gonna be talking about today is asking for more money.

Why you deserve more money, and what you can do surrounding your feelings on wanting more money. We're in a day and age, especially coming out of the pandemic era where we're seeing a lot of workers. Fight for fair compensation. We're seeing more protests, more boycotts. We're seeing our government actually create legislation to increase minimum wage.

There's a lot of push for fair [00:02:00] pay, and I think it's absolutely important. Weave. Probably all seen on social media, the graphics that show 1970s cost of living and how much money you had to make to be able to buy a house versus what you need to make to be able to buy a house. Today we are seeing more and more.

Of the millennials and younger generations living with their parents longer because it is hard to afford even paying rent on an apartment. We're also seeing increases in the cost of goods, food, gas, airfare, etc. Is costing a lot more these days. Compared to what we're actually taking in. And so you might be sitting here asking yourself, what can I do?

Obviously besides changing [00:03:00] jobs, which that possibility is there, but what can you do in your current situation to try to increase your pay raise and. That's what I wanna talk about today, and I'm very, very excited. So grab your cup of coffee, pull up a chair, drive safely if you're driving while you're listening to me as we dive in.

My experience with asking for money kind of has a longer history.

I originally started out at a video gaming company where I was making $50,000 a year, fresh outta college, which back in 2010, actually, yeah, 2010, um, $50,000 a year was actually a pretty decent pay for right outta college. Two years into my job there, I got put on probation and had to take a pay cut to thirty-five thousand.

So [00:04:00] at that point I was desperate to find a new job and I honestly was like, I will take anything that comes my way because I just need to get paid. My student loans were $1,500 a month. And I was living at home with my parents, which I was thankful for because they only charged me like a hundred dollars in rent.

But I had a lot of expenses that I needed to pay for and cover. So taking a pay cut from $50,000 to thirty-five was very. Stress-inducing. I actually went to the hospital for heart issues because of stress. Thankfully it was just stress-related. Um, but that was kind of my wake-up call of this company is toxic and I need to get out of here.

So I was desperate for anything to come my way. I [00:05:00] found my current employer and they offered me. $60,000. Cool. $25,000 more than what I'm currently making. $10,000 more than where my position started when I was at the gaming company.

Fast forward four years.

I was making sixty-six thousand after cost of living. I was still an hourly employee, so I did have a lot of overtime that I had racked up the year before, which put me around 70 or seventy-three thousand dollars for, you know, which is decent pay. But I was working extremely hard at my job. About a couple weeks prior, my manager left unexpectedly, didn't even give two weeks notice.

We left work on a Friday night. We [00:06:00] all came in on Monday and there was a letter on our desk saying, I've resigned.

And I was sitting here thinking. Now is my opportunity. Now is my chance to work up the courage and go to my VP and ask to be promoted into the manager position. I was at the time, a senior financial analyst, so going up to manager. Was basically the next step, but

I honestly wasn't sure if my VP thought that I was worthy of it. We had just gotten a new VP a year before, actually, not even a year, six months before. Um.

There was a lot of new shifts happening within our group in our department, and I don't, I wasn't sure if my boss at that time really truly saw my capabilities, so I was nervous and I was scared. I.

[00:07:00] For about a week, I sat down with myself and also with my parents, and I talked about what it is that I think inside of me deserve to become this manager.

Honestly, it was back in 2016, so it was about eight years ago. So I can't remember everything that I came up with, but I do remember

thinking through all of the last four years of work that I had done in 2015, our payroll person was terminated. And all of the work for payroll fell on my plate.

My senior manager was supposed to take over the work, but they didn't want to do it, and so they gave it to me and it wasn't a job where it was like, Hey, let me train you on what to do, because neither he nor I had ever been trained on it. It was one of those things where it was [00:08:00] like, the person's gone.

Now figure it out. And I figured it out. It was put on my plate to take care of, and I figured it out. So that was one thing that I knew I had in my toolkit of

over succeeding and. I could say to my VP, Hey, when this person left, I was able to accomplish this. Nobody else in the company knows how to do this. But when that work fell on my plate, I didn't get a pay raise. So I was in my head, owed my dues for that 'cause it wasn't a part of my job description. I also.

Excelled in a lot of different areas. So I sat down and I went through a list of things that I could come up with, type things out on a Word document, went through it myself multiple times so that I became familiar with what I was gonna talk to my VP about. [00:09:00] Then I tried to put a dollar to the work that I was doing.

Now to remind you. I was making about sixty-five sixty-six thousand four years into my job at the company. I had only received cost of living increases. That put me about $6,000 more. The amount of work put on my plate definitely did not match that $6,000 pay raise over four years. So what was going to make me happy?

What dollar figure did I feel like I deserved? I knew that if I was being promoted to manager, I would automatically get a guaranteed bonus,

so I wanted to take that into consideration.

I knew that I would no longer be making overtime, so I wanted to take that into consideration as well. As I said, a few minutes ago with overtime, I was making about so I was gonna lose the overtime, [00:10:00] so I at least wanted to be above seventy-three thousand. Especially since I was the type of person who was working sixteen-hour days during certain seasons.

So I wanted to be fairly compensated for that.

And as I sat, the number that kept coming back to me was $90,000, which was about a 40% raise.

Now if you're like me, my body was so nervous,

how could you ask for a 40% raise to become a manager? There's no way they're going to go for that.

It took a lot of courage and one of the things I kept coming back to was this story I read about how.

There's a difference between men and women when it comes to applying for a job,[00:11:00] asking for a promotion, and asking for a raise. And the difference is women will make sure they are a hundred percent qualified or a hundred percent ready. For that position before even making any efforts to applying or asking.

Whereas men,

some of the times they just apply. Other times they make sure they're about 60% qualified.

And I thought to myself,

I may not be a hundred percent qualified. I may not be a hundred percent ready, but I a hundred percent trusted myself that when I step into that role, I will learn. I will make mistakes. I have made mistakes since I've been promoted multiple times since then. But I will learn and I will put in the effort to make sure that I [00:12:00] exceed all expectations.

So I walked into my VP's office one day and I said, Hey. I would like to be considered for the manager position.

They said, actually, I was considering promoting you. I didn't even have to ask. They were already considering it. And I was like, okay, cool. And I walked out and then I was like, shit, I didn't talk about pay. So I sat with my number a little bit more, waited a few days.

Then when my BP was like, okay, this is a transition that's happening, I asked them, can I ask you what you're planning to pay me?

They said $85,000.

My brain was thinking, okay, that's a good amount. And I counter offered, I said, I was thinking 90,000.

They hemmed and hawed for a second and they said, you know what? Let me talk to my boss.

But that might be possible. The next day they came back [00:13:00] and they said, we're gonna give you your 90,000 with a 10% bonus, which meant that I was making $99,000 a year. I was elated

four years into being in the company. I was a thousand dollars shy of making six figures. I went from being put on probation at the previous company in 2012, making $35,000 to end of 2016, making 99.

I got my 40% raise because I asked for it because I wasn't afraid. I was nervous.

I had no idea why I was doing it. I mean, I knew, but like I, I was like, why do you, you're crazy. You are like, how? That's a lot of money, but I had the courage. I was brave enough to step into that office and ask for it.

I had barely known the person I [00:14:00] asked for the raise.

Barely known them for six months, and it was a hard transition going from one VP to another. They had two different personalities. It was night and day. My current VP, the one who gave me the raise, the one who gave me the promotion, is a godsend. I love them. To death,

and I am so thankful for them, and I recognize that not everybody has that relationship with their employer.

There's a lot of

not good managers out there. There's also a lot of not-good companies out there. I definitely was blessed when this VP stepped through the door,

but even with that,

it was the courage to ask for what I wanted. They could have said no.

They could have come back and said, we're only willing to go to 85,000. I would've taken it 'cause I love the job and I love the company.

But here's the thing, and this is something I [00:15:00] want you to think about and I want you to remember.

The worst they can say is no. And if they say no, you have options. You can go find another job.

You can take what they're willing to offer. Or you could do a combination of the both,

but you also don't have to say yes right away.

If your boss offers you a raise,

you can say, Hey, can I get a night to think about it?

Sometimes there's, they might say, no, you have to sign right now. But think about it.

If you have the opportunity, sit down and think about it. See if there's something you wanna counter offer. There's always room for negotiation. Now I have a unique perspective because.

The position I am within my company,

I do payroll

and I do budgeting.

So we're always figuring [00:16:00] out what can the department afford. When hiring a certain position.

So there are instances where somebody comes in and says, Hey, I would like to be paid a hundred thousand dollars,

but we've only budgeted for 80.

We've only budgeted for 80. It's really difficult to say yes to the hundred.

Some companies may not budge depending upon how their financials look, but if you're worth it. Which I'm willing to bet majority of you are, they will negotiate slightly. I had a temp employee a couple years ago who

I was trying to find her a spot within the company.

She. I was making a certain dollar amount as a temp, and I knew how much money the position was for. I didn't say [00:17:00] anything to her. I'm not the type of person who divulges that information. I keep everything on a need to know basis. But in my head I was like, if she's a smart person, she'll ask for more. And she came back to me and she was like, Hey, I had a conversation and I asked for more money with the the manager, and I said, congratulations.

I'm very proud of you, because most women wouldn't have done that.

I asked her what the outcome was and she said they're still thinking about it, looking into numbers.

And then later that day, I had a phone call with the hiring manager and I was like, Hey, how are things going with this person? And they were like, oh, well, they came back and with a counter offer much higher than I was expecting. And I'm still trying to figure out what we can make work. And I was like, okay.

And again, I didn't tell them about the conversation I had with [00:18:00] her.

They ended up matching it because she asked.

I've also had conversations with other friends who.

Felt they were being underpaid within their employment contract. And they were like, I'm gonna ask for this amount. And my response to them was, why don't you go hire? And they kind of looked at me, why would I ask for more? Like I already feel this is a little bit. You know, crossing the line

and my response to them was, because if you ask for more

and they say no, then you have negotiation power

and you might get what you want. So you want a $10,000 raise? Ask for 20.

Then you might get 10,000. If they say no to the 20, you might get 20. Cool. Yay. But you have room to negotiate because sometimes you might be thinking, oh, they're only gonna gimme a $5,000 raise, so I'm just gonna ask for 5,000.

You don't know [00:19:00] that. They as the employer, are probably like, oh, I'll give 'em a $5,000 raise and they'll be happy with it because they can, because they're not going to,

unless they absolutely 100% love you and you're like the best employee, they're likely not going to give you a huge raise or a huge dollar change when you get promoted. So if you don't ask for it, the company's gonna do what they wanna do to save money. Trust me. I've been there. I've been in the hiring position where my VP was like, we're hiring this person.

And I'm like, why?

Why? They want $30,000 more than what we're offering to any other candidate. They don't have the finance background why? And my VP was like, because they're worth it. And I'm like, I disagree. You have a personal relationship with them. I disagree.[00:20:00] 

And let me tell you something, because my VP pushed for this person. They're now. My team member and I love them to pieces, and they are worth every single penny that we are paying for. So if the, the, the team believes in you, if the managers believe in you, they are willing to go out of their way to pay you what you want.

But you also can't be afraid to ask for what you want because they aren't going to do it if they don't have to. And I think that is the biggest thing to keep in mind is a company is always going to want to save money. They want profits. Profits look good. And you might be saying to yourself, well, I.

Multiple millions or billions in profits. Like shouldn't they just equally or shouldn't they just willingly wanna pay their employees equally? Sure.[00:21:00] But also if no one's shaking it up, why? Why would they, good employers will not Knocking that the company I work for does a lot of. Uh, salary analysis, um, multiple times a year for different departments.

They check things out. They make sure people are being paid equally. When I'm in my budgeting meetings, we sit and ask when somebody says, I wanna promote X, Y, and Z person, we ask them to what? And they go, this pay range. And we go, okay, but you're paying this person that same amount. And we look at the demographics.

We say male versus female, how long have they been working for the company, the type of work that they do. Like we have these conversations because I work for a good company, but I also know from a finance perspective, companies aren't going to do drastic pay raises if push doesn't come to shove.

Because [00:22:00] their bottom line, they wanna save money, and I don't think either party is wrong. Like I said, I see it from both sides. Trust me, I've gotten in like disagreements with friends who are like, this is wrong, and I'm like, you're wrong.

I've been there, I've been. On the hiring end, I've been on the budgeting end. I've been on the asking for the pay raise end,

and I've also coached friends and clients through asking for more. It's not fun asking for more money, especially if you are a woman. Because we have been indoctrinated to only ask once we've met or exceeded the expectations. And when I always tell my friends, you're not getting the pay raise for where you're going.

You're getting the pay raise for [00:23:00] what you've done.

So it might look like I'm asking them for $10,000 more because I'm gonna have more put on my plate.

But also, you've done a lot of work and you've proven yourself, so you deserve the money for what you've done.

So if they're putting something new on your plate that you think is worth $5,000 more, great. Put that on the table. But also look at what you've done, the big and the small, and say to yourself, what is that worth? What? What if I had to put a dollar value on that project? I did. Or on the money that I saved the company

or on taking care of a team of five or six employees, if I had to put a dollar value on that, what do I think it's worth?

And add that to your offer.

Ask for it. Show up prepared to say, I've done X, Y, and Z for the company. I would like to be paid this, or, I [00:24:00] think I'm ready to step into this manager role,

and these are the reasons why I think I'm ready, and here are the areas that I may not be a hundred percent at yet. I'm willing to learn.

I'm willing to step forward into a role and make the most of it.

Then ask them what they're willing to pay you for it

based on their answer. Counter offer, but I always say go in with a figure in your head on what you want to make so that you're not sitting there scrambling

when they stay there. Figure for you to try to figure out, do I think it's worth it?

I asked my boss, how much are you willing to pay me when you promote me to manager?

She said, eighty-five thousand. I already had in my head 90,000,

so I counter-offered 90.

If I would've had in my head 80,000, I would've taken her eighty-five thousand. Cool, great. But my figure was higher. So I [00:25:00] counter-offered. I counter-offered what I felt my value was worth, and again, it left the opportunity for them to say no.

That time between your counter offer and them figuring out in crunching numbers allows you to then decide, okay, if they come back and say the highest they're willing to go is then maybe I can drop it down to 80.

Or

80, I'll take the eighty-five. If you give me a $3,000 signing in bonus or whatever, you can figure things out and it, it's not meant to be a stressful process. It's meant to be a fun process. And

when you come from. A genuine, I do feel like I deserve this. Instead of a desperate, I need to make more money because cost of living is so high. You tend to feel more secure in [00:26:00] that negotiation process.

You also tend,

what's the word I'm looking for?

You tend to feel more confident with going in and asking for what you want. I am all about paying people fairly. I.

I am all about people asking for what they want

and opening that door of conversation. Like I said, it's nerve-wracking. We're not taught how to do this in school. I.

You know, I multiple times a year have created space to have conversations with my manager

about what their future plan is for our department. How do I fit into that picture? And I meet with my team members and I say, what are you wanting to do? How are you wanting to grow? My VP doesn't have time,

and so they're not thinking [00:27:00] I need to meet with my teammates. They'll mention it. Every once in a while they'll ask us to put meetings on their calendar, but I actively go out of my way to meet with them at least twice a year. One about halfway through, because I wanna see how I'm doing from their expectations that they mentioned to me a few months ago.

And then one about a month or so before promotions and raises and costs of living adjustments are happening because I wanna know what's on their mind. This year, my manager wasn't able to make it into the office one day when we were all supposed to be there and I said, Hey. I'm coming to your house.

We're having this conversation, and they agreed. So after work, I went to their house and had the conversation with them.

Believe in yourself, believe in what you're worth, and most importantly.

Don't let the fear of asking for [00:28:00] something that feels unattainable or insurmountable

hold you back from asking for it. Because really the worst they can say is, no, they're not gonna fire you because you asked for a 40% raise. They might be like, dude, that's a little bit much. Why don't we start with 20?

But you know what if I never would've asked for a 40% raise? I never would've gotten it.

40% is really unheard of and I freaking got it you guys. So if I can do it, you can too. I hundred percent believe in you.

Ask for what you want. If they say no, negotiate. If they say yes, bravo to you. I'm so proud of you. I've seen it happen. I have talked to countless people who have been offered a 10% raise and they've [00:29:00] counted offer with a 20 and they've gotten their 20%.

The best thing you can do for yourself is negotiate

the best thing, because nobody else is gonna fight for you other than yourself.

Believe in yourself. Believe in your capabilities. Believe in your courage. You've got this. Trust me. Oh, that's my most favorite thing to talk about because you are so worth it. And if they don't see it, somebody else will. My gaming company didn't see my worth.

They were like, haha, fuck you we're demoting you. You guys, I am thriving at this new company, not just in pay, but in visibility. My manager sees my capabilities, sees my worth, my teammates see my worth. Other people in the company see my worth. I have [00:30:00] received countless emails from people who left the company to move on to other places and have said, Jessica, you are doing great things.

Don't ever change who you are, and wherever you go, you're going to make it. Even people from the gaming company where I was treated horribly, hold me into their offices and reminded me of my power and said. Whatever is going on, whatever they are doing to you is not right. They try to get information out of me.

I wouldn't talk to 'em about it, but they believed in me. They saw my worth. They put me on projects

when the people who put me on probation didn't want me on those projects. Higher-ups put me on those projects anyway because they saw my worth. They saw my value, they knew what I was capable of,

and they saw the bullshit that other people were throwing at me, but [00:31:00] they reminded me of my worth. They were in disbelief. When I got demoted. They didn't understand why I was moving over to the AP department. Even the VP of the AP department didn't understand himself.

I moved away from that toxicity. I. So if your current company doesn't see your worth, doesn't see your value, that's okay. Somebody else will. And that might mean

moving companies. That might mean moving departments within your company. It might even mean a new VP came on board. They see your worth where the old VP did not.

So trust me when I say know your value, own your value, and ask for your value because you are worth it. You deserve it.

Are there roadblocks? Absolutely. Like I said, I've been a part of every single side. I see it from all the different [00:32:00] angles,

and if this is an area that you want to work on and improve upon, contact me. Let's do it. Let's get after it, baby, because I. To help you see your worth. I'm going to help you find your value, and I'm going to encourage the fuck out of it for you to go after what you want, and I will help you look at things from all the different angles, because I've been a part of all the different angles.

So I'm wide open. I see it, I see everything. I will sit down with you and I will say, this is what I'm willing to offer you. I will roleplay with you. I will tell you what your boss might say, because I've been there. I've said those things. I've been in meetings where other people have said those things.

I've also been there when I've gotten the promotion. I've gotten the raise. We've hired [00:33:00] somebody, and I have seen the rewards of paying the person what they want. I have an amazing team member who I would die without right now because my VP pushed to hire that. At what they were asking,

I was hesitant. I didn't see their value. I have told this person that multiple times. We have had multiple conversations about it because every single time they do something amazing, I remind them of how thankful I am for them.

Because I was in the position of not hiring them because I didn't think that their value was worth it, but somebody else pushed for their value. And you will have somebody who will push for your value, but they will only push for your value if you see the value inside. So go chase it, get it. You deserve it.

I could keep going, but I'm gonna stop.

I'm very passionate about this

and please, [00:34:00] please, please, please, please, please go after it. You have my belief. You have my encouragement. I jokingly always say. Show up with the audacity of a mediocre white man, because when you have that audacity, you have that courage. You're unstoppable. So get after it. I believe in you. I love you.

Have a great rest of your day, rest of your week. And believe in yourself. I love you all. Bye. [00:35:00]