EPISODE 1: NAVIGATING SEXUALITY AND FINANCES
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THE LOWDOWN
Welcome to the inaugural episode of the Sex and Money with Jess podcast! I'm Jessica, and I'm thrilled to embark on this journey with you, whether you're tuning in during your daily commute, workout, or enjoying some quality me time. Thank you for joining me as we delve into the intertwined realms of sex and money.
Growing up in a household where discussions about sex and money were open and encouraged, I realized that my family dynamic was not the norm. Conversations with friends and observations of societal norms unveiled a significant shroud of shame and silence surrounding these topics. This fueled my curiosity – why the hesitancy to discuss these vital aspects of our lives openly?
My journey initially led me to pursue a career as a youth pastor, but a realization during my freshman year of college prompted a shift. I observed the lack of proper sex education, particularly in religious institutions with an abstinence-only approach. This eye-opening experience led me to aspire to become a sex therapist.
However, the extensive education required led me to switch gears, and I pursued accounting, eventually becoming an associate director of finance in the music industry. Alongside my financial journey, I attained credentials as a sex coach during a hiatus from pursuing formal education.
In this podcast, we'll kick off by focusing on money, a pervasive force in our lives. Money influences every facet, and its impact is undeniable. Despite my privileged background, I've faced financial struggles – from probation and a pay cut to managing credit card debt. Through these experiences, I've learned valuable lessons that I'm eager to share.
Over the next episodes, we'll discuss various money-related topics, addressing shame, navigating finances, and negotiating for better compensation. Money paths are unique to individuals, shaped by personal goals and current situations. The goal is to empower you, helping you unearth confidence and trust in yourself while making gradual shifts toward financial well-being.
I want you to feel secure, confident, and excited about your financial future. By the end of this series, my aim is for you to take control of your money, reframing your mindset and initiating positive changes. I truly believe in your power to transform your financial narrative.
Whether you engage through this podcast, workshops, or coaching, together, we'll explore what money means to you, crafting a story that leads to a brighter future. It's time to break down the doors of silence and embrace conversations around sex and money. Let's get excited about managing, looking at, and utilizing our money.
You've got this!
Connect with Jess
MENTIONED IN SHOW:
Website: www.lovealwaysjess.com/getstarted
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/confident_sexuality
SHOW NOTES:
Episode begins at [00:00:56]
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Hey, welcome to episode one of the sex and money with Jess podcast. [00:01:00] I am super excited to be here and to be in your ear while you're on your daily commute. exercising, spending some quality me time, whatever it is that you might be doing right now. Thank you for listening. I'm Jessica, and I'm excited to go on this journey with you.
Why sex and money? I grew up in a household where conversations around those two topics were not off the table. My parents Created a space where me and my siblings could ask questions, come to them about anything relating to our friends, ourselves, or just things that we heard, they also opened conversations about what was going on in their financial standings.
And it allowed me and my siblings to formulate opinions, open our minds to understanding knowledge, [00:02:00] and just diving in deeper into things that we wanted to learn without feeling any shame or judgment around either of those subjects.
If you ask friends who grew up with us, they would say that it was always a little Weird being at the dinner table with my family because we, we could talk about anything and there was no, Hey, that's a conversation for behind closed doors, or that's not something we talk about
having that open space and having that dynamic within my family. Seem normal to me, but then as I got older and I started having conversations with friends started realizing that it wasn't the norm and as I started paying attention to society I realized that there was a lot of shame and quieting around these two topics, which obviously, if you know [00:03:00] me, intrigues me even more because why don't you want to talk about it? Why don't you want to teach people proper sex education or how to manage their finances?
What about these two areas
is no no? And so I started exploring more, both, both more. I originally went to college to be a youth pastor. And then my freshman year of college, I realized
how many people were exploring their sexuality. But had no foundation for which to explore on. They, they didn't have proper sex education. And if you don't know, which I'm assuming you don't, I went to a Christian college. And so the sex education from a Christian perspective is abstinence only. So there is a huge [00:04:00] lack of proper sex education within religion.
And I started seeing that my freshman year. It was a whole eye opening moment. And after my freshman year, I decided I want to become a sex therapist. So I spent about a year, year and a half pursuing psychology with the goal of becoming a sex therapist. But then I realized I didn't want to spend eight years in schooling.
So I switched to accounting as my major with the goal down the road. Of returning to some educated format to become a sex therapist. I graduated with a BS in accounting and went on to work at a gaming company for two years. And then I transitioned over to a music company and now. Thirteen years after college, I am an associate director of finance [00:05:00] within this music company, and I have also gone back and received my credentials in being a sex coach.
In that break that I took from pursuing education in becoming a sex therapist or a sex coach, my conversations and my joy Neither did the conversations that I have around money. I thoroughly enjoy talking to people and helping people out with their finances.
And because finance was one of the first things that I pursued, and one of the first things that I became
successful in, I want to start our podcast journey off talking about money. I feel like it's one of the greater unknowns, greater areas of everybody's life, because money is [00:06:00] everywhere. We live our lives using money on a day in and day out basis. We receive our paychecks, we pay for our rent or our mortgages, we pay for our cars, our gas, our food.
Everything stems from the use of. money. It's not going to go away. It may change forms. We've seen the emerging, um, crypto, bitcoin, et cetera. So it may change forms as time goes on, but it's never going to go away. And because of that, I want to focus our first handful of podcast episodes talking about money.
One of the other reasons I want to talk about it is
I've been in some of the most struggling financial situations.
Yes, I do come from a privileged background. But my first couple of years out of [00:07:00] college, I hit road bumps along the way. I was put on probation at work and had to take a pay cut down to 35, 000 a year with over 100, 000 in debt on student loans. I've worked my way up and fought hard to get raises and promotions to make over six figures a year.
I've been on a 50, 000 salary and not only taking care of myself but taking care of other people in my life.
I found myself in credit card debt of over 25, 000. I've made mistakes. I've had low moments in my life when it came to my finances. I've
struggled,
but I've also succeeded. I've learned along the way the things that do and don't work for me and for others. [00:08:00] Because I've been able to talk to other people. I've helped other people. Organize and manage their finances. I've helped friends talk to their bosses and get promotions and raises that were 20 percent
wherever you are right now. And whatever your end goal is,
it is possible. I've been in the trenches. I've worked my way out and I still have goals that I want to accomplish. And I'm going to get there because I believe in myself.
My hope is that over the next handful of episodes, that as you spend time listening to what I have to say, you unearth a newfound confidence in yourself, that you realize that hitting these goals that you might have is possible and doesn't have to be all done at once. It's all about [00:09:00] making the small shifts.
Choosing one thing to focus on. We're going to talk about shame. We're going to talk about ignoring your finances. We're going to talk about how to ask for more money
and everything in between. There's so much that goes into our money that it's hard to say
exactly what the right path is because money paths are completely different for each person. They're unique. It all depends upon what it is that you want and also where you're at currently. So let's begin the conversations. Let's start to open our mind up to deciding for yourself, what is your financial story?
What methods and words make up your conversation that you have around money?
As you begin to [00:10:00] reframe that story in your head,
whether on an individual level, on a partnership level, whatever may be the case. You begin to feel secure in yourself. You begin to feel confident in yourself. You begin to trust yourself more. And that's my goal here for you, is to build that confidence, that trust,
and that excitement for what the future holds.
I've been stuck in the rut. I've panicked. I've been fearful, but I've also
set myself on a firm foundation of things that my parents taught me, lessons that I learned from my four years at college, getting a bachelor's in accounting, also from my 13 years of experience. In the financial world,
I've, I've created this foundation that I have been able to firmly stand upon and say, this is what I'm [00:11:00] going to do for myself. This is how I'm going to fix it. And I'm going to share that with you.
By the end of these 12 episodes, I want you to have taken control of your money and say, said to yourself, this is when I change. This is when I begin. This is when I stopped living in fear, stop letting the money control me. And instead I will control my money. I will control my narrative. I will control my future.
Because you have this. I believe in you. And I know that might seem like a simple thing to say, but I mean it. I do believe in you. You have all the power in the world,
where you are today.
It's just the beginning. So in our time together, whether or not you just sit and listen to me in your ears, through this podcast, you join workshops that I have, you hire me as your [00:12:00] coach, whatever method that we work together with, we will find what money means to you. We will find the story that you want to tell with your money, and we're going to make your future better and brighter.
Because at the end of the day, putting in the work, believing in yourself, reframing your mindset
and creating a conversation around your money. Is going to get you further than maybe what you've currently been doing.
As I mentioned, I've been down in the dark part of money. But I've also been in the fun, exciting part.
So,
let's get going. Let's begin knocking down the doors of hiding this conversation.
Let's get excited to talk about money. And to look at our money. And to do things with our money.
And begin. Stepping in to our powerful, confident[00:13:00]
selves around this topic. I hope that you have a fabulous day. I hope that the rest of your week goes well. And I also hope that as you continue coming here, showing up here and listening, that you learn a small tool to help you towards your financial freedom. You've got this. [00:14:00]
